Third Culture Kids (TCKs)

Who are the "Third Culture Kids"?

One of the easiest ways to spot if someone is, a Third Culture Kid (TCK) is by asking the simple question:

“So... where are you from?”

What feels like a straightforward question for most people can actually be a little tricky for TCKs to answer.

Scenario 1

Where are you from?— From Chile.

But… you don’t look like you’re from there.— Ah… well, I was born in Hong Kong and moved to Chile when I was seven.

(Meanwhile in my head: Next time I’ll just say I’m from Hong Kong… But am I really? My Cantonese is awful, I wouldn’t be able to explore the city without Google Maps… I don’t have childhood friends there, I didn’t grow up watching the shows everyone knows or reading the books everyone read in school. The one thing that reassures me that I’m from there is my passport 😅).

Scenario 2

Where are you from?

— Hong Kong. (Especially when I’m not in the mood to explain 😅)

A) But… your Cantonese sounds different. (If I’m speaking Cantonese.)

B) Wait, how come you speak Spanish then? (If I’m speaking Spanish.)

(And of course, I end up explaining anyway.)

— I grew up in Chile and went through all twelve years of school there. I didn't have the chance to keep up my Cantonese.

Ah… so why do you live in Taiwan now, and not Hong Kong?— That’s a long story…🤭

The official definition of a Third Culture Kid (TCK) is someone who has spent a significant part of their developmental years living outside their parents’ culture. They grow up not fully part of their parents’ culture, nor fully part of the culture they’re living in. Out of this blend emerges a “third culture”: a unique identity all their own.

For those who were TCKs as children and are now adults, the term Adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) is used.

The term TCK was first coined in the 1950s and covers a wide range of experiences: children of missionaries, diplomats, expatriate entrepreneurs, and more. Perhaps the most well-known TCK is former U.S. President Barack Obama, who, as the son of a Kenyan father and an American mother, spent his childhood between Indonesia and Hawaii.

With so many people moving across countries today—whether as expats, digital nomads, or families pursuing worldschooling, it’s safe to say the number of TCKs is only going to keep growing.

Do you know any Third Culture Kids? Or do you work in a role—teacher, speech therapist, psychologist, etc.—where you might interact with some of them?

It’s helpful to have a term to identify these kids within the communities we belong to. While TCKs are often highly adaptable, speak multiple languages, and enjoy other advantages common to their experiences...

They also face many challenges. Some may speak several languages but not as fluently as they’d like, or they may be going through periods of stress or a sense of lost identity, missing the culture they left behind—especially if they’ve recently moved to a new environment.

This is often referred to as “cultural jet lag”, a term describing the emotional and mental adjustment many TCKs experience when moving between cultures. Just as regular jet lag happens when you cross time zones and your body needs to catch up, cultural jet lag occurs when a child’s identity, values, and habits don’t fully align with either their parents’ culture or the culture of the country where they’re growing up.

In short: it’s the sense of cultural mismatch that TCKs feel, not fully “here” or “there.”

Experts recommend creating open spaces for conversation within the family to understand how each member is coping with a move. It’s important for parents to notice changes in their children’s behavior—such as withdrawing or acting unusually—and use these as signals to start a dialogue or seek professional support.

Listening attentively and validating their feelings of grief (yes, it sounds intense, but both kids and adults can experience grief during such major life changes!) is key to helping them process the transition and move forward in a healthy way.

That said, being a TCK doesn’t have to carry a negative connotation. In fact, many argue that the multicultural background that defines TCKs allows them to contribute to their communities in unique ways: acting as bridges between cultures. (If you’re interested, you can check out this TED talk.)

One way they serve as bridges is through their language skills. And it’s not just about speaking different languages—it can also mean understanding different accents, vocabulary, and ways of communicating.

My beloved non-native language: Spanish

In our family, we have an Adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) *that’s me—while our two little ones are also TCKs. In the future, when asked, “Where are you from?” they’ll probably answer something like: “We were born in Chile, but we grew up in Taiwan, and…” (whatever comes next).

Interestingly, I recently asked them separately, “Where are you from?” and both answered, “Taiwan 🇹🇼!”, that's where we currently live (only after I pressed them with, “Are you sure?” did they add Chile!)

Even though they’ve grown up in Taiwan, have Mandarin and/or English-speaking friends, celebrate local holidays, and read local stories… at home we continue speaking Spanish (very Chilean Spanish 🇨🇱❤️) and keep sharing stories about the country where they were born.

As an ATCK, I reflect on my own experience: my family and I moved to Chile when I was 7 years old, not knowing a word of Spanish, not even “hola”! Our first big challenge was to learn the language. I still remember my beloved Silabario the wonderful book that taught me Spanish. We were fortunate that many kind-hearted people helped us along the way, but without a doubt, I have to give credit to this simple, but powerful book:

Once school started, and with it full immersion into this new country—its language, customs, and culture—our learning and absorption of everything new accelerated rapidly.

It became second nature, and roots began to grow that became an intrinsic part of my identity: singing the Chilean national anthem every Monday while the flag was raised, enjoying snacks like “Kapo” (a super artificial, colorful juice 😆), and learning the lyrics to: Arroz con leche, caballito blanco llévame de aquí… and more "rondas (chilean kids' songs)"!

One thing I feel would have helped me maintain a part of my Hong Kong 🇭🇰 identity is continuing to learn Cantonese, reading and writing in the language. Unfortunately, for various reasons, we didn’t keep up with it, and over time my vocabulary stayed stuck at about a 7-year-old’s level.

By life’s twists, we now live in Taiwan, where I’ve been able to learn Mandarin Chinese (which shares the same traditional characters as Cantonese). In a sense, I’ve recovered—or better yet, expanded—part of the identity I had lost.

And by another twist of fate, my children now are doing primary school in Mandarin, but don’t have enough exposure to their first language: Spanish! That’s why the first thing that came to mind was my faithful Silabario. Today, there are more modern versions, like this one a good friend from Mexico gifted me:

Spanish lessons with me during Summer breaks, just half to one hour per day. They don't always feel like doing it, but I hope one day they will appreciate it! ❤️

Maintaining or continuing to expand their skills in understanding, speaking, reading, and writing their first language is very beneficial for preserving part of their identity and preventing a complete sense of disconnection from what they left behind geographically. Of course, this isn’t the only way—connection can also come through music, art, food, sports, and more.

We are grateful we had a group of hispanic friends to play football/soccer with! This helped with the transition too!

Hopefully during these challenging transitions, children don't feel too overwhelmed or frustrated by the false sense of belonging “neither here nor there,” but rather gradually discover that “they are from there… and at the same time, they are from here.”

It’s about transforming the feeling of being a “foreigner” in your passport country, a “foreigner” in the country where you grew up, or a “foreigner” in the country you live in now… into understanding that you’ve expanded your ability to belong to all of these places at once.

Reflection

All signs point to the fact that we will increasingly have more Third Culture Kids (TCKs) around us. As parents or as adults who interact with them in various contexts, we face both the challenge and the opportunity to positively impact their lives: to seize those moments of connection and support them through the difficult processes of adaptation and adjustment.

For older children, the hardest part of moving is often leaving their friends behind. It’s crucial to help them understand that those relationships can continue in other forms—letters, video calls, emails—depending on what’s age-appropriate, while also supporting them in forming new friendships in their new country.

Another common factor for TCKs is growing up far from extended family—grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. It’s helpful for them to maintain these connections, even if only through video calls or messages, while also finding communities where they feel closeness and care. For some, these might be communities from their home country; for others, worldschooling hubs or their churches.

Ultimately, and depending on each family’s circumstances, the goal is to find ways to make the transition smoother and turn it into a positive experience for the child. 🧡

Finally, in our family and within our Christian faith context: beyond changes of country, language, or culture, we’ve come to understand that our true identity doesn’t depend on where we were born, grew up, or currently live, but on where we truly belong—in the presence of our loving God. Knowing that this is where we were created to be and that He knows us fully gives us peace to face present challenges and hope for the future. This certainty reminds us that we never walk alone, and that even amid transitions and difficulties, we are always held by His unconditional love, grace, and purpose.

We hope this information is helpful or inspiring!

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